Written To Pastor Deborah, Who Was Known As Pastor Jan At The Time of The Letter
Written By A 16 Year Old Born-Again Human Spirit Still Trapped In A Family and Their Life Of Multi-Generational Satanism and Who Was To Marry and Bring Forth Children With Her Biological Father Who Was A Great High Priest, A Powerful Mind Control Programmer and Who Was The King Of The Black Forest Clan And Who Was The Brother Of Her Mother
December 2000
I’m Freezing Cold Inside
Chills Running Down My Spine
We’re All Dressed In Long White Robes
It’s Winter Solstice Time
Got These Painted Smiles On My Face
Trying To Make It Look All Fine
I’m Grieving Myself To Death
A Little Boy Just Lost His Life
We’re Not Supposed To Feel
But This Guilt Is About To Kill
Another Soul Was Lost
In This Mess Of A Life I Live
This Is Getting Old
My Life Is Just So Dark And Cold
Maybe It’s Just Not Meant To Be
How Could Anybody LOVE Somebody LIKE ME?
I’m SO DIRTY
I’m SO MEAN
I’ve KILLED So Many Times
Even Before I Turned 17
Helped To Steal Precious Lives
For My Own Personal Gain
But Now, I Can’t Feel Anything
Nothing But All This Pain
These Demons Inside Are Slicing Through My Brain
Guess I’m Just A Loser
I’m A Loser, Yeah
Maybe Death Will Ease My Pain