Written To Pastor Deborah Who Was Known As Pastor Jan At The Time Of This Poem By a 15 Year Old Girl Prior To Their 16th Birthday and Their Ceremonial Ritual Of Becoming A Bride Of Satan In Order To Become A Queen Of Her Clan, The Black Forest Clan ( An Ancient Clan From The Black Forest of Germany)
This Precious Young Person Had Accepted Christ Jesus As Her Savior And Lord When She Was 14 Years Old. She Has Not Been Able At The Time of Here Writing This Poem To Me, Was Unable To Physically and In Her Soul Be Free of Multi-Generational Satanism.
October 1999
I Feel Like I’m Being Drained
Like Every Ounce Of Strength Has Been Sucked Out Of My Very Soul
The Fire Has Been Spiritually Put Out
The Peace I Once Knew Has Left, The Joy Has Been Stolen
Sometimes, I Feel Like I Am Dying
It Feels Like Some Things Inside, Clawing At Me
Scraping My Flesh And Making Me Bleed
I See Visions Of Things In The Past
Of The Times Where I’ve Done Things And Seen Things So Horrific
But, Who Can Comprehend The Feelings I Have?
Who Would Listen? Who Would Believe?
At Night, There Are The Dreams Of Abandonment And Abuse
I Hear The Screams And Cries Of Many Little Ones Who Were Cut Apart And Sacrificed
I See The Devastation Of Those Young Mothers Whose Babies Have Been Stolen, Then Murdered Before Their Eyes
I See The Blood Dripping From The Altars
I See The Men Dressed In Dark Hooded Robes
I Remember The Times Of Being Laid On An Altar For Sexual Sacrifice To Satan, Lord of Death
I Remember Being Cut And Raped And Tortured
The Louder The Screams, The Slower The Death
PAIN IS PLEASURE
That is What They Say
I See The Darkness, Won’t This Ever Go Away?
Fear And Desperation Grips My Soul
Can’t You See The Anguish In My Eyes?
We’re Crying Desperately For Help
YET NO ONE COMES!
NO ONE CAN HEAR US!
There Is NO WAY OUT!
Still It Continues, This Cycle Of Death, Pain And Violence
Babies And Young Children Being Skinned Alive
Screaming Their Little Hearts Out Trying To Survive
This PAIN Is In Human
These Deeds Are Demonic
Yet, I Continue
I Ask Myself Over And Over
Yet, They Mustn’t Know That I Doubt If My Life Has Been Worth It
Now I Must Choose,
On My Sixteenth Birthday, My Life Will Erupt
To Go Insane, But What Choice Do I Have?
My Children Have Been Taken
My Little Son’s Life Has Been Stolen
My Daughter, Never Made It Through The Birthing Process
And, My First Born Son, Has No Choice Like Me!
Oh, God
What Can I Do?
I Don’t Want To Live Like This, But
It Is ALL I KNOW, IT’S WHO I AM AND
I See NO HOPE!
On Halloween Night
I’ll Be Married To My Cousin Magically
We’ll Share My Son And Have Sexual Relations On The SCARED ALTAR
I’ll Be A Satanic High Priestess
A Witch
A Breeder
A Part Of The Brotherhood
A Part Of The Coven
A Part Of Satan’s Church
I Am IMPORTANT!
On My Birthday, I’ll Receive My Jewels
My Chalice, Books, And Athame
We’ll Be United As A Satanic Family
I My Husband Will Take Over Some Day Soon
We’ll Do Our Assignments For Satan
And, Be Totally Miserable For The Rest Of Our Lives
I Only Have Two Months, My Time Is Short
I Pray To A God That Doesn’t Seem To Listen
I Go To A Church That Doesn’t Understand Me
I Try Being A Child Of God ( Jesus Christ )
But, I Am Still Illegitimate, Even In The Eyes Of God
I Guess I’m A Daughter Of Satan
And, He Is My Father, So I Must Abide By His Rules
If I Try To Disobey, There’s Death To Pay
Maybe Not My Life, But My Child’s
If I Have To Continue In This Torment
I Don’t Even What To Live Anymore
I Wish They Could Help My Situation, But Oh Well