October 1999
A Letter Written By A young 16 Year Old Girl Born Into A Life of Multi-Generational Satanism Who Was Born-Again By Believing In Christ Jesus, But Was Unable To Break Physically Free From The FAMILY To Freedom. The Letter Was Written After The Month Of October and The Satanic Rituals Of Becoming A Bride Of Satan.
Hi, I’m Not Even Gonna Pretend Everything Is alrite cuz it’s not. I’m officially a High Priestess. Actually A Satanic High Priestess and I’ve Taken By Rightful Place as a 12th degree witch of My Clan ( The Black Forest Clan, Which Was Decimated and Had To Re-Build Due To The Loss of So Many To Christ Jesus ). The Sold out, eternal daughter and servant of the Master, Satan.
But I Feel like Hell! I’m not totally sure if I should begin telling you about my new experiences as a High Priestess. Let’s just say you don’t and won’t find it in a book! I endured a lot of pain and torture during my Purification and they spared nothing, even though I am carrying my High Priests child.
I Will Forever carry the marks of these nights, both inside and out. The nightmares became real. I felt completely drained before and after the ceremonies. I did not whole-heartily renounce Jesus Christ, I was forced, but I spoke it out because of a deep fear that would not stop pounding me until I did. I still believe, in Jesus and everything and don’t get me wrong, I love the other side kind of. It was good to me, but let’s be real, I have NO CHOICE!
It’s who I am! Darkness Is My Home! And Light is yours! My Dreams of “coming out” are gone!
They made sure of it “by removing the source of my rebellion, they removed my free will”. Obviously the “source” of my rebellion was you and the church. You are sacred of talking to me and I feel cut off and blinded and deaf at church -their plan of course. They are always the underground Church of Satan from Oregon, California and Central Florida Council.
One Thing I don’t understand is, if Your god is really really alive and real, why doesn’t he answer your prayers and mine to stop this and bring me out? That doesn’t make sense. Why doesn’t he answer his children’s calls? Why does he not stop these things? Why does he wait? I bet he doesn’t hear his so called people and does not help them.
Satan does! Though sure he’ll discipline you if you get out of line, but I’d rather take it now in body than serve a dead god, or one who neglects his people.
All I Know is my whole way of thinking has changed since our marriage ceremony. I guess I’ll share a little with you. Maybe you can help another girl and bring her out, since I failed to come with you. Anyways I’ll explain the meetings, a little.
October 21, Full Moon – Purification – Blood contracts – Grandma’s blessing through Astral Projection
October 22, Anointing – Full Moon – Baptized In human blood with myrrh and cedar wood oils – sexual sacrifice and physical torture.
October 23, Me VS My Grandma. I Took her out ( I fought her and took all her demons except the ones to kill her ) She stepped down and is now just an elder.
October 24, Rested. I saw you at church and almost started crying.
October 25, Training
October 26, Training
October 27, Sweet 16 Birthday – wasn’t sweet at all! I received my Chalice, Ritual Knife, I gave my 4 year old son my smaller knife, the one I used during my 1st ceremony. My son is now magickally the high priests son and if all goes as planned, My son will take his father’s place in Pensacola and govern the Central Florida coven.
Anyways, my friends are ok. They have passed through their purifications also. Mine was more deeper that theirs of course. I serve my husband, the high priest and my friends serve me and the high priest. My best friend is mine ( I bought her to keep her safe ) even though she is older. I brought here into the coven. Now that I’m in position, she is safe with me.
A girl of about 9 years old lost her life. It’s my fault! No! I didn’t touch her myself, but it was the price she paid for my sin and rebellion towards my responsibilities and my master! I had to watch.
Now Jesus really wouldn’t forgive me, her blood is on my hands. She’s in HELL! I know I cannot ever come back 2 your side. That girl’s blood is on my hands and my 4 year old son did it!
Well, on the 31st, you know the rest or can guess. I’m not allowed to share anymore. I don’t want to tell you anymore. I love you. I accomplished my assignments. I hope you still love me. Oh, they pierced my ears and my high priest ( my husband) bought me a stereo system and some clothes and some shoes and gave me $500.00 in cash for my 16th birthday presents. Well, I’m doin okay considering what all I’ve been thru these past few weeks. Keep praying for me. I guess I gotta go. See you.
I am going to stay in church with you as long as possible, but I hope I can still be a Christian, even though I had to renounce Jesus Christ and burn my Bible. I didn’t really mean it! I don’t know, maybe at that moment I did, but I regret it now because I don’t ever want to hurt you or something close to you. But M.G.S. ( Multi-Generational Satanists ) NEVER GET OUT! I was wrong to disobey my master. I love you. Well I got to go.
It will be hard for me to see you and everybody on the other side. I am glad I met you. I still love you, but when you and I die I’ll be on Satan’s side. I’ll go burn in Hell – take care of my kids for me. If they are up there okay? Love you, but I gotta follow my side. I was wrong to try to come out. I’m so confused. I need a miracle and I don’t know how to get it.
It is like my spirit and heart is going with you, by my mind and body is torn towards Satan. Can 2 gods live in the same body? I wanna stay at church because just seeking you and being at church brings a lot of comfort to me. It hurts worse that anything they could do to me. Maybe I just need to grow up and move on. I don’t know.
If I get a job somewhere, will you come in and see me sometime? I need you 2 help hold me together. I’m loosing it. I’m about to give up. I can’t take this. I know one day, my guys will fight yours and I’ll have no choice but to obey them. You’ll always be in my heart, no matter what anybody says. I love you and I mean it.
Forever.