Tuesday, April 07, 2020

Why Am I Still Living ?

Written To Pastor Deborah Who Was Known As Pastor Jan At The Time

Written By One Of Pastor Deborah’s Spiritual Children Who Was Born Into Multi-Generational Satanism, But Who Had Accepted The Lord Jesus Christ As Her Lord And Savior And Who Was Baptized In Water and In The Holy Spirit

But Was Unable To Be Completely Free Yet From The Physical, Sexual, Emotional and Spiritual Captivity Of Being In A Chosen Blood Line Of Royalty Of Multi-Generational Satanism.  She Was From One Of The 13 Royal Bloodlines Of The Illuminati Who Ruled On The International Council Of World Wide Satanism/The New World Order.  

This Was Written And Sent To Pastor Deborah To Help Herself Deal With The Loss Of Ones She Loved And To Help Others Express The Pain That Has Been Hidden In The Secret Places Of Their Souls and In A Hidden Spiritual Kingdom, The Kingdom of Darkness.

Hidden, Yet Among Us.

July 2001


I’d Like To Go Home

Reclaim My Place


All These Stupid Little Faces

Looking Up At Me

The More Of You I See

The More I Wanna Scream!


Your Long Dark Hair

Your Pointy Fingernails

Your Ugly Dark Green Eyes

And All Your Little Lies

I Just Want To End This


Right Here

Right Now


What The Hell,

You Are Dead

But Left Me To Believe

You’d Be Coming Back One Day

Then You’ll Be Living Inside Of Me


I Wanna Get You Out

Want To Tear Your Freaky Faces OFF

Say One Thing

Then You’re No

What A Wasted Life


You Watch Me Bleed

I Walked Away

Your Lights Too Bright

I Cannot See

I Think It’s Unfair

That You Died

Before I Could Kill You

Make You Feel What I’ve Always Felt


Time And Again

A Never-Ending Cycle

You Came Into Me


Now Our Boy Is Dead

Like His Daddy, Uncle, And Brother

But The Mommy’s Still Alive

I Cannot Figure Out Why.


Why Am I Living?

Why Don’t They Just  Kill Me?

What Purpose Does This Serve?

What’s To Gain Of Me Still Breathing?


I Cut To Release The Tension

The Walls Built Within Me

Come Crashing Down When Pain Becomes Part Of The Living


No Sense Do I Make

Mad Hatter Is Come Take Me

We’ll Fly To Heaven, Almost There

And Then He’ll Drop Me


I’ll Come Crashing Down Again

Falling In A Bloody Pool

Of Shattered Dreams

That Were Almost True

Then Taken Away From Me


Now The 1 That’s Here

Hates Me

Doesn’t Trust Me, Doesn’t Want Me

So What Do I Do?

Think About My Death And It Helps To Pass The Time Away

And Maybe Soon, I Will Too!









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