Tuesday, April 07, 2020




Written To Pastor Deborah Who Was Known As Pastor Jan At The Time Of This Poem By a 15 Year Old Girl Prior To Their 16th Birthday and Their Ceremonial Ritual Of Becoming A Bride Of Satan In Order To Become A Queen Of Her Clan, The Black Forest Clan ( An Ancient Clan From The Black Forest of Germany)

This Precious Young Person Had Accepted Christ Jesus As Her Savior And Lord When She Was 14 Years Old.  She Has Not Been Able At The Time of Here Writing This Poem To Me, Was Unable To Physically and In Her Soul Be Free of Multi-Generational Satanism.

October 1999


I Feel Like I’m Being Drained

Like Every Ounce Of Strength Has Been Sucked Out Of My Very Soul

The Fire Has Been Spiritually Put Out


The Peace I Once Knew Has Left, The Joy Has Been Stolen

Sometimes, I Feel Like I Am Dying

It Feels Like Some Things Inside, Clawing At Me

Scraping My Flesh And Making Me Bleed



I See Visions Of Things In The Past

Of The Times Where I’ve Done Things And Seen Things So Horrific

But, Who Can Comprehend The Feelings I Have?

Who Would Listen?  Who Would Believe?


At Night,  There Are The Dreams Of Abandonment And Abuse

I Hear The Screams And Cries Of Many Little Ones Who Were Cut Apart And Sacrificed

I See The Devastation Of Those Young Mothers Whose Babies Have Been Stolen, Then Murdered Before Their Eyes

I See The Blood Dripping From The Altars

I See The Men Dressed In Dark Hooded Robes

I Remember The Times Of Being Laid On An Altar For Sexual Sacrifice To Satan, Lord of Death


I Remember Being Cut And Raped And Tortured

The Louder The Screams, The Slower The Death


That is What They Say


I See The Darkness,  Won’t This Ever Go Away?

Fear And Desperation Grips My Soul

Can’t You See The Anguish In My Eyes?

We’re Crying Desperately For Help





There Is NO WAY OUT!

Still It Continues, This Cycle Of Death, Pain And Violence

Babies And Young Children Being Skinned Alive

Screaming Their Little Hearts Out Trying To Survive

This PAIN Is In Human

These Deeds Are Demonic


Yet, I Continue

I Ask Myself Over And Over

Yet, They Mustn’t Know That I Doubt If My Life Has Been Worth It


Now I Must Choose,

On My Sixteenth Birthday, My Life Will Erupt

To Go Insane, But What Choice Do I Have?


My Children Have Been Taken

My Little Son’s Life Has Been Stolen

My Daughter, Never Made It Through The Birthing Process

And, My First Born Son, Has No Choice Like Me!


Oh, God

What Can I Do?

I Don’t Want To Live Like This, But 




On Halloween Night

I’ll Be Married To My Cousin Magically

We’ll Share My Son And Have Sexual Relations On The SCARED ALTAR


I’ll Be A Satanic High Priestess

A Witch

A Breeder

A Part Of The Brotherhood

A Part Of The Coven

A Part Of Satan’s Church



On My Birthday, I’ll Receive My Jewels

My Chalice, Books, And Athame

We’ll Be United As A Satanic Family

I My Husband Will Take Over Some Day Soon

We’ll Do Our Assignments For Satan

And, Be Totally Miserable For The Rest Of Our Lives


I Only Have Two Months, My Time Is Short

I Pray To A God That Doesn’t Seem To Listen

I Go To A Church That Doesn’t Understand Me


I Try Being A Child Of God ( Jesus Christ )

But, I Am Still Illegitimate, Even In The Eyes Of God

I Guess I’m A Daughter Of Satan

And, He Is My Father, So I Must Abide By His Rules


If I Try To Disobey, There’s Death To Pay

Maybe Not My Life, But My Child’s

If I Have To Continue In This Torment

I Don’t Even What To Live Anymore


I Wish They Could Help My Situation, But Oh Well








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