Thursday, July 18, 2019

Just How I Feel !

 

Written To Pastor Deborah Who Was Known At This Time As Pastor Jan

Written By A Spiritually Born Again Multi-Generational Satanist Who Was Still Unable To Get Completely Free Of This Life

February 2001

 

I’ve Allowed You In My Head

Gave You My Everything, My Love, My Honor, My Respect

Went Through The Deepest Darkness

Been Behind The Scenes,

While You Went Public

Looked Into The Eyes Of The Storm

And Still The Fires Of Hell Continue To Burn Inside Of Me

 

When I Look In Your Eyes, I See The Ultimate Void

So Much Time Wasted On Things That Don’t Really Matter Now

Nothing Is The Same, Nothing Can Ever Be

I Wish This Madness Would Go Away

When I Close My Eyes, I Still See It There

It Doesn’t Go Away

 

People Dressed In All Black

The Smell Of Sulfur And Burning Flesh

Young Kids Screaming

Because Their Bodies Don’t Go That Way

 

See how You Had To Manipulate Just To Get Your Way

Nothing Common Suits You

You Are Always So Alone

Even In A Crowd Of Thousands

You Are Always Alone

 

Black Mass Time Again

We Watched Those Bare Bodies Rock & Twist

See The Demons Swell Up Inside Of You

Throw Yourself Into The Flames

 

My Son Is Gone

And It Will Never Be The Same

 

You Gave Yourself To The Ultimate Evil

Sold Your Soul To The Devil Himself

All Your Rituals & Sacrifices Wasted

As You Look At Yourself And See Nothing Left

 

The Scars & Shame Don’t Go Away

The Void Inside Cannot Be Filled

 

God Is Dead

And Hope Doesn’t Exist

No Reason To Live

This Does Not Make Any Sense

I Am Trying To Push You Out

Before This Thing Sucks You In

Do Not Let It Get You

You Will Become Just Like One Of Them

 

This Battlefield In My Head

There Is A War Between My Eyes

I Look Over My Past

See All Those Tears I Made You Cry

I Am So Sorry For Bringing You Into This Hell

I Wanted To Be The Perfect Child

So Pardon Me While I Burst Into Flames

Pardon Me, Pardon Me

I’ll Never Be The Same

 

Good-Bye My Love

Good-Bye

 

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