Tuesday, April 07, 2020

Just How I Feel !


Written To Pastor Deborah Who Was Known At This Time As Pastor Jan

Written By A Spiritually Born Again Multi-Generational Satanist Who Was Still Unable To Get Completely Free Of This Life

February 2001


I’ve Allowed You In My Head

Gave You My Everything, My Love, My Honor, My Respect

Went Through The Deepest Darkness

Been Behind The Scenes,

While You Went Public

Looked Into The Eyes Of The Storm

And Still The Fires Of Hell Continue To Burn Inside Of Me


When I Look In Your Eyes, I See The Ultimate Void

So Much Time Wasted On Things That Don’t Really Matter Now

Nothing Is The Same, Nothing Can Ever Be

I Wish This Madness Would Go Away

When I Close My Eyes, I Still See It There

It Doesn’t Go Away


People Dressed In All Black

The Smell Of Sulfur And Burning Flesh

Young Kids Screaming

Because Their Bodies Don’t Go That Way


See how You Had To Manipulate Just To Get Your Way

Nothing Common Suits You

You Are Always So Alone

Even In A Crowd Of Thousands

You Are Always Alone


Black Mass Time Again

We Watched Those Bare Bodies Rock & Twist

See The Demons Swell Up Inside Of You

Throw Yourself Into The Flames


My Son Is Gone

And It Will Never Be The Same


You Gave Yourself To The Ultimate Evil

Sold Your Soul To The Devil Himself

All Your Rituals & Sacrifices Wasted

As You Look At Yourself And See Nothing Left


The Scars & Shame Don’t Go Away

The Void Inside Cannot Be Filled


God Is Dead

And Hope Doesn’t Exist

No Reason To Live

This Does Not Make Any Sense

I Am Trying To Push You Out

Before This Thing Sucks You In

Do Not Let It Get You

You Will Become Just Like One Of Them


This Battlefield In My Head

There Is A War Between My Eyes

I Look Over My Past

See All Those Tears I Made You Cry

I Am So Sorry For Bringing You Into This Hell

I Wanted To Be The Perfect Child

So Pardon Me While I Burst Into Flames

Pardon Me, Pardon Me

I’ll Never Be The Same


Good-Bye My Love



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